


No Desire To Be King

by wordyanansi



Series: No Desire To Be King [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:59:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4909738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordyanansi/pseuds/wordyanansi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is in love with him from their first adventure. But she's a Crown Princess then, and he's got no desire to be king.</p><p>It's been ten years of him always showing up when she needs him the most - battles, armies, mythical beasts... even when she lost her parents. But they've just faced another battle side by side, and she's a Queen and he's got no desire to be King. And she's sick of saying goodbye. </p><p>But this time, he doesn't seem to be leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Desire To Be King

Clarke hates the little flip her stomach makes when Bellamy enters her tent. She wishes she wasn't half expecting him. Wishes he'd just... go, if he was going. And of course he was going. He was always going. She glanced over at him, and he was just looking at her.

"I'm going to devote some of the troops to clean up," Clarke tells him. "Infantry, probably. I'll send calvary out to let the families know as soon as we've got the death list."

"Clarke," he says, his voice soft despite the gravel that lived in his throat. She hated what he did to her spine. She cut him a sharp look out of the corner of her eye.

"Queen Clarke," Bellamy corrects himself, and she tries not to scowl.

"Can we not do this?" she asks, turning to face him. She can see the sorrow in his eyes.

"Can we not do what?" he asks, stepping forward.

"This," Clarke says, indicating the distance between them. He raises an eyebrow. "If you're going to go, just go. We don't need to do the long goodbye thing." His expression changes, curious, and he tilts his head to the side.

"If I'm going to go?" he repeats back to her, moving closer again. Clarke swallows and looks away, she can't keep the intensity of his gaze.

"You know how I...," Clarke begins, but she cuts herself off with a sigh, shaking her head. She doesn't want to say it again, get rejected again. "It doesn't matter. Just go, Bellamy." She tries to look at the maps spread out on her table, but she can't see anything, except the memory of the day they first met.

 

_Clarke sat beside her father, trying not to be frustrated by everything that was happening. Not only was she being raffled off, she couldn't even defend her kingdom. It had been a long morning of knights in shining armour. And then... then there was a guy who looked more like a farmer than a warrior._

_"Who are you?" her father asked. He had defiance in his eyes, and she shifted, taking more notice of him._

_"I am Bellamy, son of Aurora," he claimed. Her father's lips twitched in a smile._

_"Normally a man claims the heritage of his father," he commented. Bellamy's eyes hardened further._

_"My mother raised me. My father doesn't deserve a claim on my victories," Bellamy stated. Clarke bowed her head, trying not to smile obviously, but her father grinned._

_"But who is your father, Bellamy, son of Aurora?" he asked. Bellamy scowled._

_"I'm told he is a god. But I'm here because of the Oracle, she prophesied my victory," Bellamy said. Clarke and her father exchanged a look of approval and amusement._

_"You're going to kill the beast tormenting the eastern villages?" her father asked. Bellamy nodded._

_"Yes, sir. I mean, your majesty. Highness. Person," Bellamy says, still glaring. Clarke can't stop her laugh._

_"I'm coming with you," Clarke announces. Bellamy looks aghast and her father sighs._

_"I'm not taking some princess with me who can't hold their own. I'm here to kill a beast, not protect a princess," Bellamy scowled. Clarke smiled, loving the challenge. Her father shook his head._

_"Clarke, I don't really want you gallivanting off around the country right now," her father said to her. "Your mother is stressed with negotiations, and you're technically meant to marry the killer of the beast." Clarke raised her eyebrows in challenge._

_"Uh, I don't want to marry her," Bellamy cut in. "No desire to be king. Just want to help the easter villages and maybe get paid enough to look after my sister properly." Clarke smiled serenely._

_"See, this way I get to win my own hand, see what our new champion is made of," Clarke says happily. "Loophole! I get to see some action AND I don't have to get married. Everyone's a winner," Clarke says happily. Her father laughs._

_"Your mother will not like this," he said. Clarke smiled, waiting, and then he sighed._

_"Have fun," her father says, and she stands up, grinning victorious. Bellamy shakes his head._

_"No way. I'm not getting killed because she wanders off in a swamp or something or because the Beast eats her," Bellamy argues. Her father smiles, and Clarke feels so loved, and knows how proud he is of her._

_"The bigger concern, Bellamy, son of Aurora, is you keeping up with her," her father says. Bellamy looks at her suspiciously._

_"We leave tomorrow morning at first light," Clarke tells him. Bellamy shrugs._

_"I want it writing that if she ends up dead it's not my fault," he says. Her father nods._

_"Done," her father says. Clarke leans over and kisses his cheek in thanks. Then she turns to Bellamy, who is still trying to size her up._

_"See you in the morning, son of Aurora," Clarke tells him, and then leaves the throne room to prepare._

 

"How you what, Clarke?" Bellamy asks, stepping closer again, and she backs away, hating the look on her face for giving her away.

"It doesn't matter, Bellamy. You have Octavia. A life. You said you had no desire to be king the day we met," Clarke tells him, trying to be dismissive and angry, not heartbroken and sick of everything. She'd ruled alone since her parents passed, and it seemed she would rule alone until the day she died. Bellamy rolled his eyes.

"I said that a long time ago, Clarke. Octavia is grown, married, starting a family of her own," Bellamy says, stepping closer, and she backed up a step again, hating giving him the ground. Clarke shook her head.

"It doesn't matter, Bellamy," Clarke replied quietly. "You still have her in your heart, and need to be close to her. You're fiercely loyal to her. It's admirable." His hand twitches as if he is about to reach out for her, but it doesn't, coming to rest on the table beside them instead, and he smiles softly.

"You're admirable," he says softly. "I had you so wrong when we met." Clarke swallows, and stares hard at the wall of the tent, remembering.

 

 

_"Bellamy! Duck!" Clarke shouted, as she jumped up and over him and the beast, bouncing off rocks acrobatically before driving her sword into the beast's neck. It stuck and she dropped it, rolling away. "Shit."_

_"And now you don't have a sword," Bellamy commented dryly. She rolled her eyes and started gathering rocks._

_"I've still got a slingshot, and your back. Which is more than I would have had if I hadn't intervened," she bit at him. He shot a glare at her, because she was right, he'd be dead if she hadn't done what she just did._

_"Distract him. I'm going to drop on him from above," Bellamy said, indicating a tree with his head. Clarke glanced up and nodded._

_"The beast has plated skin. Don't strike it directly, get in the joints," she offers, staring at her sword still stuck between two plates. Bellamy nods, and then runs towards the tree he's climbing. Clarke takes a breath, and then yells._

_"Over here you giant ugly beast," she calls, and throws a rock at it. It roars and lumbers toward her. She watches it's approach, keeping herself out of striking range, and trying to position it for Bellamy to jump down when he's ready._

_She trips on a tree root behind her, and curses colourfully as she goes down._

_"Clarke!" Bellamy yells. The beast roars and picks up speed coming toward her. She waits, letting it get too close to change it's direction before she rolls out of the way._

_"Move, damnit!" Bellamy screams. Clarke shakes her head._

_"Not yet," she calls back._

_"Are you crazy? Get out of there?" he yells again. Clarke doesn't take her eyes off the beast._

_"Two seconds," she shouts back._

_"Don't you dare die," Bellamy says, and it sounds ripped from his chest. She barely has time to process how he sounds like his heart will break if she dies, before the beast is in range and she rolls, timing it so she just misses his feet. The beast screams in frustration, and Clarke backs up to position herself for Bellamy's jump._

_"Told you," Clarke calls, but Bellamy doesn't say anything she can hear, though she vaguely makes out some muttering that sounds like he's cursing her out._

_The beast charges, Bellamy drops, it screams and rolls over, and Clarke screams, fearing Bellamy crushed. She charges forward, yanking her sword from it's neck and plunging it deeper into his flesh. She braces foot against the flesh and pulls the sword out before driving it back in, again and again. She remembers their first night on the road, the way Bellamy had stared at the fire and told her to make sure his sister was taken care of if he didn't survive slaying the beast. Clarke knows it will be easy to keep that promise, but she doesn't want to, because it's only been a week and she can't bear the weight of knowing he doesn't exist in the world anymore._

_She doesn't realise she's crying until she feels hands on her shoulders. She turns around and he's there, grinning at her._

_"I think it's dead, princess," Bellamy says. And she laughs, shoving at his chest._

_"You idiot. I thought you were crushed," Clarke replied. He grinned._

_"You'd miss me?" he asked. She wants to tell him that she would, wants to ask him to move to the castle, to court her, to love her, to one day rule by her side. She's never met anyone like him before, and she doesn't think she'll be likely to again. But she knows he doesn't want that, doesn't want her life._

_"Nah, just wondering how I'd manage to take care of Octavia. You make her sound like quite the handful," Clarke says instead, teasing, and he laughs, slinging an arm around her shoulders._

_"She's just like you," Bellamy tells her. "Fierce, smart, and ready to set the world on fire." Something in her stomach curls up and feels ill. She's just like his sister. He thinks of her like a sister._

_"Yeah, way too much work," Clarke replies. "Come on, son of Aurora. Let's get me home."_

_He leaves the castle the next day before she even has the chance to say goodbye. Her father sighs at the look on her face when she finds out._

_"He said he didn't want this. He just wanted money to take care of his sister. You said you didn't want to get married to the person who slayed the beast anyway."_

_"I don't," Clarke protests. "He just could have said goodbye." Her father looks at her, and she knows he knows, but he says nothing, and leaves her staring at the road to the sea._

Clarke swallows, and then looks at him.

"You didn't even want me to come with you," she says softly. "I remember how mortified you looked. Thought I was going to get you killed." Bellamy snorted and ran his hand through his hair.

"You saved me, you know? Not just... not just in the fight. Just meeting you. Getting to know you. I was... I was convinced a lot of things didn't matter. You changed that for me," Bellamy admits. Clarke's not sure what to say, so she says nothing, just waits. He looks away from her, at the maps on the table.

"You saved me too," she says softly, looking at the maps, shifting to stand beside him. "I was going to have to marry the slayer of the beast. I was going to have to marry, period. You gave me the courage to stand alone, to marry only whom I wanted, when I wanted. I'd have had a hoard of children and taken up embroidery by now." He knocks his shoulder into hers gently, wary of the war wounds they've both just sustained, and laughs softly.

"The children I can imagine, the embroidery seems a little far fetched," Bellamy tells her. Her stomach clenches at him imagining her children.

"I worry though. For after I'm gone. I'm afraid of civil war breaking out if I don't have a direct heir. I considered just having a child, sleeping with random men until I fell pregnant and raising the child alone. But it didn't seem fair to the child," Clarke admits. "But is it ever fair to have a child knowing the kind of future they will have to have? The burden of ruling." Bellamy has tensed up beside her. But she's never felt safe saying this to anyone before, and there is release in saying it aloud to someone she trusts with her life.

 

_Clarke supposes that she's too young to be Queen, really. That she should have married while her parents were alive. Should have had someone to lean on. But they're both dead and buried and it is the first moment she's had alone since they were killed. Her bodyguards are hanging back far enough that she feels like she can breath her own air for the first time in days. She lets herself cry silently, facing the road that leads to the sea. She lets herself feel heartbreak and fear. She lets herself feel the sense of aloneness that has been creeping around her since it happened. And then there is a roughened hand in hers. It has been five years, but she knows exactly who it is before she turns._

_"Bellamy," she breathes. She can hear her guards mobilise and she signals them with her free hand to stay where they are. Bellamy smiles at her sadly._

_"I came as soon as I heard," he says kindly. "Your father... He was a better man than I assumed he would be." Clarke smiles her thanks._

_"He was a good man," she agrees. "And my mother was a brilliant woman. And now they just have me." Bellamy squeezes her hand softly._

_"Yeah, they have you, who is the best of both of them. You, brilliant, clever, courageous you who is not afraid to lead an army into battle. And you, kind, compassionate you, who will want to try to negotiate peacefully first," Bellamy says gently. "The kingdom mourns two great leaders, but it has no need to fear for your reign, Queen Clarke." There is some teasing to his voice in her title and name. But she sighs._

_"Three days till my coronation," she says. "And who will be king? A neighboring prince? A gallant knight? A warrior who wins my hand in a feat of daring?" Bellamy shakes his head._

_"Whoever he is will be lucky to have such a wife," he offers. She swallows, gathering her courage._

_"It could be you, if you wished it," Clarke says softly, not looking at him. He doesn't let go of her hand._

_"I can't be King," Bellamy says, and he's staring at the ground. "I have Octavia, still, and I am not the kind of man who would be a good king. And it would not please our allies to have a King of unknown lineage, a teenage ward, and a small farm with hard dirt." Clarke releases his hand, trying not be wounded at the rejection, diplomatic though it as. She wishes she could go and be his wife there, if he'd have her. To live on the farm and run away from being Queen, but she can't._

_"Ah well, neighboring prince it is," she says, smiling, trying to find the humour. He takes her hand again, and pulls her to face him._

_"But I will always be there when you need me, Clarke," Bellamy tells her, intense and honest. She manages a smile again._

_"I believe you," she tells him, because she does. Bellamy nods at her response._

_"I can't stay," he offers, apologising. "It's three days here, and three days back. And harvest time. And I can't leave Octavia for long." Clarke nods, understanding._

_"But you came anyway," she says softly, because somehow that means something. He smiles at her, nervous, somehow._

_"Go," she tells him, squeezing his hand. "I love that you came. I needed it. I feel better already." It's the closest she'll even come to telling him how she really feels, and as much as she hates that he's leaving, she does feel better for him coming. He nods._

_"Remember that if you need me, I'll come," Bellamy tells her. "The Oracle said it, so it must be true." He smiles, awkward for the first time since she's known him. She wants to tell him that she'll always need him. That she needs him to stay. But she won't, because Octavia needs him more. She knows it's about beasts and wars, but she's comforted all the same, knowing he'll stand by her when she feels most alone in spirit._

_"Thank you," she says. He turns to leave, and then hesitates._

_"I trust you," Bellamy tells her. "I'm telling you this because I trust you, trust that you won't... The Oracle I speak of. I know your father wanted to know... but it's Octavia. If you need her... you know where to find us. Just don't... don't take her and give to the priests, okay? Don't tell anyone." Clarke stares at him, letting the information sink in. She understands responsibility like this. For her, it's the good of all. For him, if he fails to protect his sister she'll live a life of isolation and indignity. She knows the conditions the current priesthood keeps their Oracle in, and she wouldn't wish that on anyone._

_"I will guard the secret of the children of Aurora," Clarke swears, and she catches a flash of his smile, and then he is gone._

 

"I felt the same way about Octavia. The Gift is passed down through girl children. All her children might be normal. But there might be one. She tells me it is worth the risk, and she will protect the child as I protected her," Bellamy offers. Clarke nods, agreeing. It is not unlike passing along an illness, and then he seizes her wrist, pulling her to face him. "Don't do it like that," he says, urgent and sudden. It is the most violent he has ever been toward her, and she stares at him in shock. "I know I don't have the right to ask it of you, to tell you what to do, but... I couldn't bear it if you just had a child with anyone for the sake of legacy." He spits the last words out like they taste foul in his mouth. She yanks her wrist back from him.

"You're right, Bellamy, you don't have any right to ask that of me. It is my body and my choice and my kingdom that I must serve always," she snaps at him. She wants to tell him that she wanted to do it out of love, wanted to have children with him, but she won't. It hurts her that he asks it, like he might love her, when she knows it doesn't matter how he feels about her because he won't accept the only kind of life she has to offer. She pulls herself back and levels her gaze at him.

"I think you should go. You were here to say goodbye, after all, weren't you?" Clarke says, her voice of queenly command masking her heart, and Bellamy looks wounded, and then angry, slamming his fist into the table.

"Why does this always have to be so hard?" he asks the table. "Why can nothing be easy between us when we are not on a mission together? We walk side by side into hell like we are... and then when it is over..." Clarke stares at his profile, his face hidden by his hair falling.

"Because in battle we know each other," she tells him. "And afterwards there is only you leaving. And you seem to have no trouble doing it" He looks up at her, shocked.

"You think it's easy?" he asks in disbelief. Clarke shrugs.

"The first time it didn't even matter enough for you to say goodbye to me. And then I didn't see you until a moment after my parents died. You took your gold from the Battle at Mount Weather home with barely a backward glance or a fare the well. And now you're here to say goodbye and I'm sick of it!" She had meant to sound dispassionate, but she ended up shouting at him, fury in her.

"I didn't say goodbye because I couldn't," Bellamy shouted at her. "You were... I was... I had to go back to Octavia and you couldn't come with me and I would have stayed with you. I couldn't face saying goodbye. I walked six days for half an hour of your time, because I had to see you when I knew you were hurting. It's never easy, Clarke. How can it be easy when I'm so in love with you it hurts? When I can never have you, never stay, and you can never come with me? And I'm here trying to tell you that I don't have to go this time and you're so keen on my departure you've all but pushed me out the tent." Clarke's too angry to process his words, and she opens her mouth to speak before she's thought it all the way through, and then she closes it again. She stares at him, fury coursing through her veins, completely at odds with the screaming of her brain to kiss him.

"Well?" he demands. "Is that it? You just want me to go again? Is it too late?" His last question is desperate, his eyes searching her eyes, and it chokes her. She gasps for air for a moment, and then covers her mouth with her hand, trying to recover her composure.

"You never said you wanted me," Clarke says in the end. "I thought you didn't think of me like that, that you were rejecting me gently to spare my feelings." Bellamy shakes his head.

"I was mostly reminding myself of the reasons why I had to go," he said. "And, of course, it's easy to think that a princess, a queen, wouldn't love a farmer."

"What changed?" Clarke asks. "Why now?" She wonders why he didn't say it when he showed up in the middle of the night on the battlefield. When her general left them alone and he announced that The Oracle had sent him. Why he was silent as they planned the battle, the one they were completely outnumbered for. Why he didn't say before they marched towards death. Why he's waited until now, at the end, and it hurts, because she wonders if it is a battlefield bargain, like her soldiers make. If she's a prize for living he's giving himself. "Because Octavia is about to be married, and her husband will keep her safe, and they can work the farm together," Bellamy says. "I can... when I think about that for the first time I can do as I please, all I think about it is you." His brown eyes were molten, and she could fall into them so easily. She took a steadying breath and licked her lips. His eyes flicked toward them and then back to her eyes.

"We have been together for eight days, Bellamy. You're about to leave again and you change your mind?" Clarke asks. Bellamy shakes his head.

"I needed to make sure that it wasn't just... we haven't seen each other in three years, Clarke. I wanted to make sure I still loved you, not just the idea of you, or the memory. You deserved me being sure. And if you don't want me, it's... it's okay. Because I'm the orphan son of know one knows who, and a dirt poor farmer. I'm so bad at farming, Clarke. If you didn't pay me gold for helping out we would have starved for sure," Bellamy tells her, a smile playing at his lips, and she can't help smiling back.

"So you think 'king' is going to be a better job description?" Clarke asks. He winces, and it's perfect. She grins, because she knows what he's going to say.

"Clarke, I'd love you if you were the daughter of a blacksmith, or dancer. I don't want to be king. It sounds awful. But I want to be yours. And I figure it won't be so bad if we're together, and you'll be a good example. And we can have a hoard of kids for me to mother hen while you rule the kingdom, and we'll fight with each other and for each other and against each other, and spend every night together. And I can't think of a better life than that," Bellamy tells her, his voice and eyes shining with honesty. "But if I'm too late... I'll understand. And I'll still always be there when you need me." Clarke bites her lip.

"I think I'm going to need you a lot, Bellamy, son of Aurora," Clarke comments, and Bellamy looks at her hopefully. "I might need you every day, in fact." He waits, his body tense with anticipation.

"Is that... I'm not too late?" he asks.

"Your sister didn't tell you?" Clarke teases him. He scowls.

"She told me that it was a waste of her talents to dispense love fortunes," Bellamy admitted. Clarke laughed, and Bellamy smiled at her.

"So, you're not leaving me this time?" Clarke asks. Bellamy grins.

"Not ever again," he responds happily, then he steps forward to claim her mouth.

"Okay," Clarke tells him in between kisses. "We might have to have some discussions on what constitutes a hoard. But I accept your proposal." Bellamy pulls back to look at her properly.

"I know I kind of lost track of what my mouth was doing back there, but don't tell me I missed myself proposing," he says. Clarke swats at him.

"You know what I meant," she says, trying not to blush. "Just, the life plan, it sounded good. And the you not leaving bit. I really like that part."  Bellamy presses his forehead against hers.

"It was kind of a marriage proposal," he admits. Clarke presses up on her toes to bump their noses together. "And you agreed to it." She catches his lower lip between her teeth for a moment before letting it go.

"You're really terrible at this," Clarke tells him. "But sure, let's get married and get you coronated and then have some babies. I'm pretty sure I'm not maternal though, so you might  need to take the lead on that one or I'm going to screw up our kids." Bellamy laughs.

"Pretty sure I'd screw up foreign diplomacy without supervision. We'll make it work. We always make the impossible work when we're together," he says affectionately. Clarke leans up to kiss him again.

"Yeah," Clarke agrees. "It's going to be great."

 

And it was.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so I did the thing where I have a chronic pain flare and take all the drugs and then write the thing... and then post it without reading back through it. 
> 
> And I admit, this is super vaguely inspired by Wrath of the Titans (which is a terrible movie and Sam Worthington really needs to nix the Aussie accent because Perseus is like "Pegasus, mate, fly in a straight line! Have ya had a few beers, mate?" I mean, Bob Morely and Eliza Taylor don't sound Australian. And why is it Wrath of the TitanS when there is only one Titan mentioned? Hmm? Questions, people.) when Perseus shows up and Queen Andromeda is all omg it's you i'm totes still in love with you and Perseus is all village just got attacked, let's do this shit so i can get back to my son. And then he kisses her but there is zero resolution, like does he do the royalty thing or does he leave her anyway? Idek. For real. Terrible movie. But it kind of inspired this piece of trash. Oh god I'm sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, read on for unrequited-ish love, constrained destinies, and happy endings.


End file.
